Too Dark, Too Wide

A poem written and performed by ABRE speaking to the veil of self-hatred caused by one’s own low-esteem.

“I’m going to get to me onna them basketball players”

“Girl you too dark and too wide”

Wow.

And for that,

She won’t apologize.

Now I’ll hide,

My hips,

My curves,

My figure,

My being.

But,

how do you hide something so dark,

And so wide?

Something so marked up and scarred,

I’ve been put back together so many times,

But I keep finding myself ripped apart.

Two things that don’t seem to matter,

are my head and my heart,

I’m always told I’m smart,

I’m always told I’m kind,

That’s a fucking lie,

I’ve got so much anger deep inside.

I’m the monster I had nightmares about as a child,

I’m a devil that hides behind a smile,

I’m a child,

I’m a general,

I’m mellow innately,

But I can fucking go mental.

My spirit is so dark,

Because my heart is too wide,

I’ve learned to limit how many times he can apologize.

I’ve learned to unlove everyone,

Even the girl behind my eyes.