Okay Amanda, it’s nothing, you got this. You look good, I try to convince myself, staring at the stretch marks that Denzel has etched into my body’s history. My heavy breasts that sit lower than they previously did, tend to bother me just a bit. And I feel like a slut for even entertaining the idea of sleeping with another guy.
This is a stupid idea, we are literally in a city crawling with athletes and reporters and we’re planning to go out on the town. As if my name is not already attached to a still very active scandal.
But a huge part of me doesn’t care. My parents have the baby, I’m technically on vacation, and my man has some “super fun shit” planned for us to do all day today. He competes in the Dunk Contest tomorrow so he’s feeling pretty good right about now. He’s happy and I don’t want to rain on his parade.
Despite my wanting to be cautious regarding our affairs, I allowed him to stay here in the room with me last night after we fell asleep watching an episode of an old show called ‘Hawthorne’.
Denzel started to cut up in the middle of the night and it was relieving to have him present to help change the diaper and fix the bottle. He remembered seeing Tommy make it the last time and decided to allow me to sleep throughout the night as he happily bottle-fed my baby next to my tired body.
I sometimes feel like he’s not real. I wonder what it is that Tommy saw to be problematic about my dealing with him in the first place. He’s really caring and considerate in ways that no other guy I’ve known has ever been to me. Could it just be love bombing?
Could he be running some kind of game to get more eyes on him, or trying to find his way into a long-term contract with the sailors via a close relationship with my brother? If that’s even how it works.
I don’t want to believe I’m that big of a deal, but I can’t think of any other reason he’d try this hard.
“Okay, so before we do what we have to do today, I thought it would be a good idea to eat some breakfast.” There’s that grin.
“Okay, where?”
He points upward toward the sky.
“Huh?”
“We are having breakfast in a hot air balloon baby.”
There’s no way in hell.
After the super intimate and emotionally charged breakfast in the sky, we paid a visit to a high school buddy of his, a photographer by the name of Izzie who moved here to pursue his professional career.
He was doing a women’s empowerment photo shoot set to drop next month, and invited us to come watch.
Somehow, I became the focus of the shoot after playfully getting in on a few of the photos. He asked me to trust him, and I did. He created a mock up of the cover right then to show me his idea.
‘The Bad Girl of the NBA’, that’s what I’ve been called in one of the latest blog posts circulating, regarding my relationship with Paul.
Homewrecker, little hoe, bag chaser, social climber, high school dropout, problem child, dummy. These are all of the things I have either been called, or that have been commented on my pictures.
Izzie took these insults and plastered them just in front of a picture of me flipping the bird while donning a white crop top with no bra underneath, and a pair of black skinny jeans with a studded belt. I stand barefoot on what looks to be a bedroom rug.
It’s risqué, a shit-starter for sure. I have no doubt this issue is going to go viral and thanks to Paul, Izzie will be the only one with a direct quote from me.
“Guess what? I had a baby.” That’s it, that’s all. I carried another human being to term in my uterus, with no sort of interference from a doctor to verify his health or my own.
And then I pushed him out, all on my own. I don’t give a fuck what anyone else has to say about me or what the hell I’ve got going on. I can drink what I want, go where I want, wear what I want, party where I want, and most importantly, fuck who I want.
But I am going to be safe. Despite the fact that Izzie got us both sky-high and feeling rather irresponsible, we made a stop at Target on the way back here for some Magnums. Both the condoms, and the ice cream bars I absolutely love.
The bathroom door opens and he walks up behind me, wrapping his arms around my body.
“Did you have fun today beautiful?” He hooks his chin into the side of my neck as he locks his fingers to hold me still.
We watch each other through the mirror.
“I had an amazing time today. I always have a good time when I’m with you. You know that?”
His heartbeat picks up and I realize he’s nervous.
I turn around and search for his eyes. If there’s anything I want so terribly, it’s him.
I grip his lips with my own and use everything in me to siphon his affections. His hands slide up my sides and snake around my back to hook themselves onto the band of my bra.
I can feel him growing further into his briefs and it just now dawns on me that we are both practically naked and kissing all over each other. Sex is definitely happening tonight, and I’m not entirely too sure if I’m ready for it.
This will be my first time since the last time I saw Desmond months ago. He would be the first, and only other guy, I’ve been with since Desmond.
“I kind of want to eat my ice cream.” My mind conjures up a reasonable way to divert his attention. I move away from him and out of the bathroom.
When I walk back into the room and take a seat on the bed, he comes out looking beyond fine in his black and gray striped briefs. He has nothing else on. He’s tall, tone, and handsomely dark. Today he’s wearing his diamond earrings, one in each lobe. He’s growing out his facial hair now too, so his goatee is a tad splotchy but still cute.
I want to fuck him, but it just doesn’t feel right. It feels like I’m moving too fast, all I can hear is Desmond’s voice telling me that my pussy is his. At a certain point, I was unable to keep count of the amount of times that he told me I belonged to him. That I was only his to have.
And I was proud of it initially, now I’m creeped out. There’s a tickle moving up my back as I think about it.
Paul leaves the room and I hear the mini fridge being opened, and subsequently, the tiny freezer slot door clanking.
He must’ve gone to grab the ice cream for me, he does everything for me. He’s such a gentleman, that it’s truly hard to fathom. The door is always being opened for me, no matter which door: house, hotel, restaurant, store, car. He opens them all.
He likes to hold my hand, loves to cuddle, enjoys cooking and he’ll fix my plate too. And to take things further, he enjoys being around my kid.
He’s gotten Denzel so many cute little outfits and expensive ass shoes that he will grow out of in no time. I personally think it’s ridiculous, but he’s the “Drip God” of the team, according to Tommy. A huge part of me feels as though all of this will change once I sleep with him. I don’t want him to switch up on me.
It’s widely known that men start acting different once you give it up. I don’t want to ruin this. I get up and put my robe on as he walks back into the room with one of the ice cream bars for me.
“You’re not going to eat one?” I kneel on the bed waiting for him to get on it with me.
He shakes his head no walking over to my side of the bed. I follow him with my eyes.
“I’m in the mood to eat something else though baby.” He whimpers and kisses my neck leaning over me.
“Oh really?” I giggle at the way his lips tickle my sensitive flesh.
“Mhmm.”
“You have to taste the ice cream first. Since, you just knocked it before even giving it a try. Caramel is delicious.”
He kisses my lips.
“Open it.” He speaks seductively.
I smirk as I do what he asks. I point the opened end toward him and he grabs the curved end of the stick to pull it out.
He taps it on my lips and then drags it down my neck and chest.
He lays me down and spreads my legs apart.
“Paul? What are you about to do?” My imagination runs wild a moment. I know he’s not about to put that where I think he is.
He puts the stick between his teeth so that he frees up both his hands to pull my panties off.
His upper body leans forward touching the cold ice cream bar to my skin again, then dragging it all the way down my body as he slides my panties down my legs.
They are pulled off and dropped next to him on the floor, and then there’s a chill that slowly slides up inside of me.
I cackle at the sensation in disbelief. What the fuck is going on right now?
I sit up a bit, smiling at him.
“Paul, I told you to eat the ice cream.” I whisper.
He moves the frozen dessert in and out of me shamelessly. The feeling is odd, but not bad by any means. He moves his lips onto my most sensitive of places and I lift my back a bit in reaction.
After making a few more strokes he pulls the bar out and it’s been slightly melted by my body heat I can tell. He takes a bite of it and then kisses me, allowing the now softened chocolate to fully melt into my mouth. A bit of the caramel sweetness comes through.
“Mhmm.” He moans. “It tastes pretty good.” He speaks encouraging me to take the ice cream from him. I do and he lowers himself once again to lick whatever sweetness remains, out of me.
I try my hardest to focus on finishing the ice cream before it melts and makes a sticky mess.
Biting down on the stick to suck on it, I rub my hand across the back of his textured head. His waves feel so good against my palm. This edible is still working its magic in my veins and I feel everything.
“Damn baby.” I moan loudly and he comes up kissing my stomach, his lips leaving wet marks. His breath is euphorically warm against my moistened skin. The quiver in my legs causes me to sweat.
He wraps my legs around his shoulders, then stands up to pull his briefs down. He’s so huge, it’s almost unreal. He uses his right hand to stroke himself a few times and I push back on his stomach a bit.
“Paul, be serious.”
“What?” He chuckles and leans down to kiss my cheek and then my lips again.
“That’s a lot.” His kiss seduces me.
“You don’t want it?” He kisses my neck now, biting gently as he suckles on it. Damn.
I definitely do.
“I do… Just- please don’t change once it’s over with.”
“I would never do you wrong Amanda. Truthfully, can’t see myself ever hurting you. I love you.”
I nod, feel a bit more confident in my decision to let this happen.”
“Just go slow.” I warn him.
“I got you baby. Let me wrap up, I don’t want to be irresponsible.” He moves back to grab the box of condoms off the dresser smirking at me. I can tell he’s excited that this moment has finally arrived.
I laugh appreciating his sentiment.
He unwraps it quickly and slides the semi-clear stretchy wrapping as far down as possible.
“I’ll fuck around and put another baby in you if not.” He moves back over to look into my eyes. “I think you’re so beautiful Amanda.” He kisses my lips three times as his fingers crawl up my cheeks and around to the back of my head.
That would be really irresponsible. Though, I entertain the thought for a moment. He isn’t Desmond. He wants to be with me, I don’t have to try and “keep” him. I’m never stooping that low for a man again. I can’t.
I wrap my arms around him as his body pulls mine into what I’d consider the most intimate of hugs.
His moans are music to my ears and his hands feel heavenly as they climb up and down my thighs. He feels so good crawling around inside of me the way he’s doing. Fuck, I want him so bad.
“Amanda?” Mickie snaps at me.
“Hmm?”
“He’s talking to you.” He points to Paul, who walks over to me. Paul moves behind me and rests both hands on my shoulders to gently massage them. He leans forward to whisper into my ear.
“What you over here thinking about?” He hugs me.
“You.” I smile and throw my head back to kiss him.
He then kisses my cheek and neck multiple times.
“Hey, come on now. Y’all don’t see us sitting right here?”
“Don’t get her pregnant again bruh.” Mickie shakes his head walking out of the kitchen, leaving his warning to Paul.
We ignore his statement.
“What would you like to eat mon amour? Pancakes, French Toast, Turkey Sausage, Bacon, Eggs, Berries, OJ?” He leaves me a bit of space to answer.
“I can fix my plate, eat your food.” I get up telling him.
“Nah, I got it. Relax.” He guides me back to the dining chair. He’s such a nurturer, it’s kind of funny. I can tell he took good care of his mom growing up.
His dad was in and out. Started another family in Haiti and never actually planned on moving here when she did. He had a stepfather that took great care of things for a while. But once he passed, Paul was the one to look after his mom when she got sick. She had a cancerous growth on her shoulder that she had surgery and chemo for. It put her down for a while and he was the one making sure she stayed up and alive.
He wants me to meet her soon, and I’m excited to. She sounds like an amazing woman. She sounds strong.
“French toast, turkey sausage, berries, OJ. I appreciate you.”
We play footsie under the table as we eat together and I realize the only other time I feel this close to pure joy, is when I’m with my baby. I miss him.
He notices my change in expression.
“What’s up?”
He reaches over to rub my arm.
“I just miss Denzel. Like I know he’s alright, my dad would go off if I kept calling and calling. He’s good with him. My mom is the funny one. She panicked as if she forgot how to care for an infant. Why’d they have to leave yesterday? They could’ve stayed for the game, that way we could’ve all been here together.”
He smiles.
“You’re a great mother. I’m sure Denzel remembers that even when he’s away. You’ll see him in a few days. Enjoy your mommy time. Enjoy your “me” time.” He winks playfully.
“You mean my time with you?” I kiss his lips again, it’s hard not to be this affectionate when the pull is just so strong. Even before we had sex, my pussy kind of always felt ready for him. Like he was always worthy of it. But back then, before I decided to go down Desmond’s path, I just wouldn’t cross that line with anyone this close to my brother. I don’t know what happened.
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